The First Taste: A Game Changer

The First Taste: A Game Changer

I had a personal experience with this. A good friend of mine, who had years of sobriety under her belt, relapsed. And yes, it was a bad one that lasted for a few days. But her friends from AA found her, scooped her up, and drove her to treatment. She had the tools, the knowledge, and a stronger willpower than anyone I know to bounce back, but she found herself in a treatment program the very next day.

Her friends were well-intentioned (I tell myself), but what happened afterward was telling.

They patted themselves on the back for saving her and then became non-existent. They went to their next AA meeting, shared the story, and felt good about what they did. Meanwhile, my friend, who could have easily clawed her way back, was left to face job loss, family issues, financial stress, and more—alone.

Sure, they got here out of that situation and sang the song (or repeated the words) "We saved her life."

But did they really? What she needed wasn’t just a quick fix and a reset button. She needed someone by her side for those first few days, to help her navigate the storm. That’s why I’m so adamant about the dangers of cookie-cutter support programs and people who don’t use critical thinking.

I’m just one small voice out here, but I’ll say it: No one is at day one in the fight of addiction (if they tasted sobriety) They don’t go back to preschool after being a sophomore in the process.

Too often, I’ve seen “kind-hearted” people accidentally cause harm by oversimplifying recovery. And sadly, I’ve also seen people with bad intentions who are happy when the drama isn’t focused on them. It saddens me. But here I go—I’m not perfect, and honestly, I’m pretty messed up... but my tombstone will say "messed up to great"... not good to great!).

Still, I hope you can read these imperfect words and hear the simple message: Celebrate the “taste of sobriety.” We’ll figure out the finer details, but we need to stop talking numbers.

Why the First Taste Matters

Not just any sobriety—real sobriety. The kind where the mind clears, the energy returns, and for the first time in a long time, they feel alive without the fog of addiction. It’s new, it’s fragile, but it’s real. And that first taste? That’s the game changer. That’s the moment that matters most.

I tell my clients who’ve relapsed again and again: the only reason we’re here, the only reason we’re working together, is because you’ve tasted it. Rarely does someone get a real taste of life without addiction and not fight like hell to get it back. That taste—it’s everything. It’s the spark, the flicker of hope, the glimpse of what life could be. It’s what drives them to keep going, to try again, to get back up no matter how many times they’ve fallen.

Numbers? Forget them. Let’s stop obsessing over how many days, months, or years someone’s been sober. Who fucking cares? What really matters is whether they’ve tasted sobriety. Because if they have, then we, as professionals, as support groups, as fellow human beings, have a responsibility. It’s on us to help them find their way back to that taste, to that moment, to that feeling of being truly alive.

Shifting the Focus: Celebrating the First Taste

Let’s stop shaming people for relapse. Let’s stop making them feel like they’ve failed every time they have to reset the clock. Instead, let’s celebrate the day they first tasted sobriety. That’s the day that counts. That’s the day that proves they can do it, that they’ve already done it, even if just for a moment. And that’s the day we need to focus on, to remind them of, to build on.

The reality is, once someone’s tasted sobriety, there’s no going back. Not really. They might relapse, they might stumble, but deep down, they know what’s possible. They’ve experienced life on the other side, and that’s what will keep pulling them back toward recovery.

Our job isn’t to shame them, to reset the clock, to make them feel like they’re starting over from scratch.

Our job is to help them get back to that taste, to fan the flame of that spark, to support them in finding their way back to the life they’ve glimpsed.

Think about it—when you’ve tasted something truly exquisite, something that makes you feel more alive than ever before, you’ll do anything to experience it again. It’s like the words of Maya Angelou: “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

That first taste of sobriety is like that. It’s the moment of clarity that lets someone know they’re capable of so much more. It’s the experience that proves to them that life can be beautiful, even without the crutch of addiction.

The True Measure of Sobriety

So, to all the professionals, the support groups, the friends and family out there: let’s shift our focus. Let’s stop counting days and start celebrating the moment that really matters—the day someone first tasted sobriety. Because that’s the day that will keep them coming back. That’s the day that will fuel their journey forward. And that’s the day we need to honor, to recognize, and to hold onto.

Sobriety isn’t a number. It’s a taste, a feeling, a moment of clarity that changes everything. Let’s celebrate that moment. Let’s support those who’ve experienced it. And let’s stop letting relapse define the journey. Instead, let’s help them get back to that taste, that spark, that glimpse of the life they deserve. Because once they’ve tasted it, they know—it’s worth fighting for.

The next time you find yourself supporting someone in recovery, remember this: their first taste of sobriety is the most important milestone. It’s the moment that will keep them coming back, no matter how many times they fall. Don’t let the number of days sober overshadow that experience. Instead, focus on helping them reconnect with that feeling, that clarity, that glimpse of a better life.

Ready to help someone get back to that taste of sobriety? I am happy to give you some thoughts... Visit holdingdoors.com ... OR email me any questions if you feel like I am going to sell you on something... NOPE... that is not me... this is my passion and purpose...

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