Pain Today: The Message Every Teen & Young Adult Needs To Hear

The Message Every Young Adult Needs to Hear

You’ve just graduated with a demanding degree. You’ve spent years grinding, sacrificing sleep, sanity, and maybe a little bit of yourself along the way. The world says, “You’ve made it!” But all you feel is pressure.

Expectations crush you...from parents, society, and even your own voice.

So, what do you do?

For one young man I recently worked with, the answer had always been substances. Alcohol and drugs became his escape, his way to cope with the relentless demands of his life. It worked for a while. Until it didn’t. (sooooo common!)

When we started working together, I assumed the hard part was behind him. After all, he’d earned his degree, and now it was time to rewire his mindset. Easy, right? Not so much. What we uncovered in our 1-on-1 sessions was deeper than I expected. His stress didn’t come from the textbooks or his job—it came from the invisible expectations that followed him everywhere: the ones set by his well-meaning parents, his overachieving older sister, and the voice in his head that said, “You should have your dream life by now.”

Sound familiar?

Choosing Your Pain: Short-Term vs. Long-Term

This young man believed the lie so many people believe: that once you “arrive”... whether it’s with a degree, a job, or a relationship... life will suddenly click into place. But what he found was the opposite. His first job was, in his words, “boring.” It felt like a grind. The spark he thought he’d feel? It never came. And the monotony made him crave his old, easy answer: substances.

But here’s where things changed.

We started talking about pain... short-term and long-term. You see, life doesn’t let you skip the hard parts. You either face the pain head-on now or delay it, letting it grow into something bigger, messier, and harder to handle later. This was the message he needed to hear. And honestly? It’s the message every young adult, every parent, every mentor needs to hear and repeat:

You get to choose your pain. Short-term or long-term. That’s the deal.

I told him the truth no one told him before: “It’s supposed to suck right now. Your first job isn’t supposed to feel amazing. It’s supposed to be repetitive, draining, and, yes, boring. But that’s the beauty of it. This season is where you’re building grit. Pain tolerance. The ability to sit with discomfort and not run from it.”

He listened. He got it. And he started to see his job differently. Instead of viewing it as a dead end, he reframed it as a launching pad. He wasn’t stuck in monotony; he was learning, growing, and building a foundation for his future. He saw himself taking massive steps forward, even when it felt like standing still.

This shift didn’t just help his mindset... it reduced his cravings.

Why? Because he was no longer running from pain. He was running through it, knowing it was necessary for the life he wanted to build. Every day, he chose short-term pain over long-term. And that choice, over time, became his power.

Embracing the Hard Seasons

For every young adult reading this... or every parent who needs to hear it for their kids... let me be blunt: It’s going to be hard. It’s going to feel awful at times. But that’s how it’s supposed to be. This is the season of grinding, learning, and building. And it’s worth it.

If you’re struggling, know this: You’re not alone. Pain is part of the process, but it doesn’t have to define you. You can take control. You can reframe your thinking, rewrite your narrative, and choose growth over escape.

That’s what we do at Holding Doors. We help you push through the hard seasons, rewrite your story, and design a life worth living. 1-on-1. No shortcuts. No group therapy fluff. Just real, tailored support for your journey.

Are you ready to take the first step? Schedule a call today at Holding Doors. Let’s talk about how we can help you or someone you love move forward... not just past addiction, but into a life full of purpose, fulfillment, and freedom.